Trixy Dragonses

So our whole group is off in search of this mysterious schema that Merrix wants and it took us to the Talenta plains. Not so bad right? Clearly false. After the halflings almost took 709 out the night before I thought that would probably the worst of it and we would get there without any more surprises. Instead, today a pack of lionesses stalked us through the underbrush. What the hell.

We managed to kill the whole pack only to then encounter a strange little man walking the path that we were on. Daven and Ru tried to make the group seem less suspicious which lead to a horrible lie about us being some sort of traveling bards. The guy wanted to see us perform. This is the day we learned that those two have mouths that their skills can't always back up. Good thing about that is that the only person who witnessed that display is dead. Well, the other members of the party saw it also, but they can be killed in their sleep if need be.

Anyhow, the guy seemed okay with the lie and started to walk through us and Ru had a bad feeling about him. So basically after trying to assess anything about this guy's personality we decided to at least arm ourselves for combat. That is when he turned into a golden fucking dragon. Also he said something about the creepy ass prophecy the dragons have about changing the world or some bullshit. So we all decided to attack it. It tried to fly away and we shot it down killing it. As we searched the body we found a paper with the dragon's mission written on it. He was also checking on the excavation site that we were looking for. This does not bode well for us; not only is Merrix there, but so are dragons.

When we were deciding what to do with the body some of us thought of an idea sure to bring joy to all, golden hide hairbows. We like to call them Hello Dragon. Not sure what some of the other party members will think, but we are so doing it anyway.

Dinosaur Killing

So today we went to the Lyrander compound and Daven got us all on a trip to the Talenta plains on an airship and I got to improve on my swashbuckling skills. It was an enjoyable trip. After we left the ship we were greeted by House d'Jorasco very enthusiastically. They set us up with dinosaur mounts and guides for out in the plains. As we were riding towards.... wherever it is that Jasson is having us go, Fenris decided to hunt down a Triceratops for some armor that House d'Cannith said they could make with it. The guides were skeptical but he was able to kill it with minimal help from the rest of the party. Ru and I watched it from extremely far away because, as Ru pointed out like we couldn't tell, Triceratops roam in packs. It is lucky that the rest of them didn't attack because they are huge and can trample us to death pretty damn easily.

Later on that night we set up camp and I stayed up for first watch. The warforged 709 and the Monk were also awake because... well, they don't sleep. Daven cast an Alarm spell that kept getting set off by the dinosaur equivalent of rats, so eventually we just turned it off after the vermin kept rifling through our stuff. That was when we got attacked by halfling barbarians. 709 was almost destroyed by the flying rocks that assaulted her from every side. Fortunately Daven was able to tackle her to safety and she was not unable to repair. One of the barbarians broke its nose with its own slingshot and so Sealamin was able to locate it and set it on fire. So by the end of this battle there was a pretty good size fire blazing on the plain. There were six total halflings to deal with and Ru and I flanked and killed the one near us. The rest of the party split up and dealt with the five ending in the last halfling alive getting tied up and interrogated. Unfortunately the only thing we learned was that barbarian halflings hate tall people and we already knew that. When Fenris set him down he tried to escape and Ru shot him in the head and killed him.

After this encounter the hiding guides brought back all of the stuff and we were able to go back to sleep. Hopefully the rest of the trip through the plains will be free of angry small killers, but who knows.

Ahh My Favorite Sport; Shopping.

Of course, with all the commotion of Jasson being back Evan went and hyperventilated until he passed out. So all of us nosy guests of House d'Sivis ran after Jasson, who picked him up and hauled him into a back room. The entire party quickly noticed he was undead and filled him in on the circumstances of his own death, which was pretty entertaining. It seems that he was secretly living in the basement of the house we have been in for a while. I'm not gonna lie, no matter how much of a bad ass he is, I am calling him a bit creepy for that. The running theory is that bastard uncle Merrix has set Jasson up for some reason so he is not going back to d'Cannith for a while. Ru was jealous of the level of awesome that Jasson was at. I found that to be pretty hilarious. Then we all decided it was a good time to duck out of the party because by now everyone would be hysterical.

Evan was ecstatic and apparently in their "enthusiasm" they managed to royally shock Amaryllis. I might feel bad for her if it wasn't so funny.

Also it turns out that now we will be running errands for Jasson as well because he has decided to stay living at Evan's house. So all of us went to get outfitted with gear before we go to pick up a schema for something that Merrix wants. Hopefully Merrix won't be anywhere near this site when we have to be. So today we are going to see Jasson's friends at the shops.

At the weapon shop we all picked up some more bolts and arrows and I got some new armor that apparently was ordered for some one else from my House but won't be needed for some time. The only other thing I had to inquire about was getting some smoke sticks. All in all it was a pretty fun day.

I guess tomorrow will be our trip to the Talenta Plains. At least if we have to stay with one of the houses that Ru slept with it won't be the one that will kick me out. On a separate note, I am so glad that Daven is going to be coming with us. I have missed him while on this little adventure. Plus I can have him teach me some more stuff about sailing, while the d'Lyrander Swashbucklers were very enthusiastic they were a bit drunk to teach me too much. Well, next stop dinosaurs I guess.

The Party After Dark

So the party has been going for a few hours and I remembered that Daven had traveled around Valenar for awhile and I decided to introduce Kerowyn to him. She had sobered up significantly since the last time I saw her and was very excited to meet someone who had been in her homeland. Soon after, the dance competition began and Ru and I entered as per usual. I always forget that he doesnt have as much experience at dancing to house parties, but we ended up doing significantly better during the traditional last dance, we even one for best dance with it. Kerowyn and Daven entered together and ended up winning best couple. All four of us won some flowers and a shiny bracelet. They are pretty. The partners of The Monk and Urijah also got awards for individual dances. All in all it was a very nice dance.

The next part of the party was the masquerade. Everyone lined up and presented their costumes to the room. When we got to the last contestant it turned out to be Jasson d Cannith. Everyone was shocked to see him, as we all thought he was dead. You know because we saw him die. But Evan was super excited and they had an adorable reunion.

By the way I am thinking about inviting Daven and Kerowyn to accompany me on my theoretical airship that I will one day captain. Basically everyone from the party is invited except Thog, because he is the reason we cant have nice things.

I'm so glad that I didn't have to miss this party.

So finally we have finished fetching weird shit for House d'Sivis and it is party time. I finally decided on a costume. Today I am becoming a pirate. Since that airship ride I have been wanting to talk to some of House d'Lyrander's swashbucklers to see how much work it took to pilot one of those ships and I knew Davin would be at the party and could introduce me to them. It turns out that you can't learn that much from drunken swashbucklers. However, you can get them to hand over shiny new weapons. It was almost worth getting pawed at by half-elfs, but I can say I didn't stay long after they showed me the basics. Also there is a school that teaches that sort of stuff, I should look into it after we stop being wanted. Good news I can now kill incorporeal beings and I have an awesome rapier inscribed in Elven, bad news I will probably have to scrub a lot after this party, though that is sort of expected so there isn't so much bad. Davin and I talked a bit about the events so far and I think that he is going to hang with us for a while at d'Sivis.

Fenris, The Monk, and one of Fenris' friends were part of the guard for the party though after awhile I didn't see much of them. Urijah went to talk to some of the half-orcs in House d'Tharask. I hope she meets a nice girl from there. Kerowyn was hanging out with some clerics of Balinor. Clearly clerics do not drink enough because both of them seemed pretty smashed from the beginning. Gimble and Evan were hanging out though suspiciously Amaryllis was absent for a big chunk of the party. Ru was off on his quest to bang all of the Dragonmarked houses, I'll have to ask about how it went afterward. 709 and the Monk also got to mingle with some other warforged which is nice for them. I didn't see much of Skaeal so I hope she is having fun. Everyone else seems to be having a good time and the dancing is about to begin, so all in all it is shaping up to be a good party.

......Fuck Druids

So we are all well on our way to Drooam to find the missing party supplies for the Dragonmarked house party that d'Sivis is throwing and we were traveling with these druids and shifters right. Um can I start off with how no one should have tried to talk to them because they are stuck up bitches who care about nature too much? Because, for real, as soon as they rode out of sight Dire Bears attacked us... for no reason. Turns out Fenris is a shifter and can bite through bears, which is a pretty good skill for this particular situation. Also Karkanna died in battle against the second bear and we burned her body on the field. Good news is she died as she lived, soaked in dwarven booze.

After that depressing job we headed off to the airship. The bastards rode back after we killed the bears to see what was happening. I usually have a rule against hating elves but that red haired bitch was getting on my last nerve. But there probably would have been an issue if I just hauled off and stabbed her.... and they had a lot of people in their group... so it would have been a bad plan. All I can say is thank god they left without setting any more animals in our direction. I mean seriously I thought they were supposed to care about animals, but here they are sending them to be slaughtered because they have some sort of thing against magic users.

So we finally locate the ship and The Monk, The Shifter, and I climb up to check it out. It was on top of a cliff for some reason, and there weren't any people on it which was pretty freaky, but all of the goods were accounted for..... except the tubes of daylight.... which were tossed over the edge. Something tells me that there is a reason those tubes were smashed and it involves things crashing the party. The other party found the spacey captain of the ship who has no memory whatsoever of the last three weeks, tied up in the back, which means someone was controlling his mind and needed him out of the way, or he had a killer party on the ship. He offered to take us back to Ardev and we returned our horses to the original caravan. Levitated horses are basically the funniest thing ever. Kerowyn had to calm them the entire time they were on the airship.

The House d'Lyrander Captain also offered to take us back to House d'Sivis which is nice. He offered the captain's quarters to the Gimble and I because we are from other houses but I prefer to have my own room, even if it has a hammock instead of a bed. Also I'm pretty sure that Ru went out to meet the captain after we all left. Pretty much I consider him paid for having to bring us back. At least he isn't from Phiarlan.

So now we are back at d'Sivis and we have a few days left to figure out a costume. I still have no idea what to go as. Also Evan's wife showed us the rest of the party favors. Looks like it is going to be fun. Poor 709 didn't understand some of the Dragonmarked house customs and Evan's wife wasn't really in the mood to explain. Maybe I can talk to it later. I don't know if I will be able to though considering how the sex talk went last time though.... Anyhow two days until the party.

Title Pending out of Anger

So after that horrible incident in the Cogs, everyone got to chill at Evan's house for a week. It was pretty nice, kind of like being home again. Except we couldn't really leave. Then we noticed we hadn't seen Evanwroat for a while and 709 asked his "wife" about it. Turns out there is a party. That was way better then what I was expecting. I thought maybe he had retreated into an emo psychosis, turns out he just likes decorating. House d'Sivis probably throws a good party. We were all invited and told that is was a masquerade. You know who isn't? Merrix. You know why? Because he is a bitch who hunts down innocent socialites for no damn reason. So also we have gotta design something to wear before next week. Btw that gnome women has got some sorta problem with elves. She keeps giving me these dirty looks. What the hell.

Anyhow Urijah asks if there is something we can do to help and the wife says we can help catch some meat (um no thanks) or go track down the party favors. I think we unanimously decided on the favors. So she sent us off to the House d'Lyrander to see what happened. We immediately are contacted by a half-elf woman who informs us that the shipment was not only not here, but canceled by someone. Also she mistook us for movers, do I look like someone who moves things for other people? Apparently only being half an elf isn't enough to keep stupidity at bay. For this woman at least, so far as I know Skaeal is competent. She tells us that the airship with the favors is stopped in Ardev and we decide to go there as it is only about a day away. We return to tell Evan's wife that we are on the quest to find the stuff.

So then we got on this lightning rail to Wroat and someone picked up another someone from d'Phiarlan and had sex with her on the train. Apparently it was good enough to warrant a standing invitation to House d'Phiarlan. And if that someone does not stop talking about it she is going to find herself tied up and thrown in a ditch somewhere. And I know she could never get out of rope as well as I could.

After the rail we joined a caravan and beat the shit out of some Ankhegs that popped up from the sand. We demolished them in a few seconds and took their shells. We sold them to some shifters and druids Fenris hung out with when we camped the night before. So we made a few platinum which is always a plus. Yeah so it sounds all good and well right, except when we get there, the airship is nowhere in sight and we are told it has gone into Drooam, which is kind of ..... um bad. We decide to pursue it into Drooam and fall into the caravan of those shifters and druids from before. I'm not sure what to expect from Drooam, it isn't officially recognized as a country, which basically makes it pretty sketchy. But at least we will get to ride on an airship.

Today, I almost got killed by a tentacle monster... fml.

So after the battle yesterday we found a bedroom and all of us went to sleep. In what seemed like no time at all the drunken dwarf was yelling at everyone to wake up because something was coming toward us. I peeked outside to see what was the matter. Guess what, tentacle monsters, really fucking horrible. Ugh how could anyone worship that thing? So while the clerics were armoring up Ru and I rushed out to help Karkanna and the others. I hit it with a few arrows and that was good, then I flanked it and it stabbed me. With its horrible tentacle weapons of death.

What the fuck.

After two hits I passed out. I don't really remember what happened but Urijah says I woke up for a bit when she healed me.... right before the monster knocked me out again. After that the house d'Sivis gnomes came and cleaned everything up. Which was nice of them. I got some new boots and gloves that we pulled off the rogue down there. But most of the money and scrolls went to the gnomes. The warforged 6709 looked quite sad when she handed over them but we managed to convince her it would be easier this way. Most importantly we found out today that the warmage was not, in fact, a human. Instead it turns out she was a daelkyr half-blood. She showed us her carapace. Ru is not cool with having a passer in the group. Hopefully this won't start anything up. We still haven't learned much about her yet.

So after the cleaning out of the creepy goblin lair, we all rode the elevator back up to Evanwroat's house. Gimble went to see if he was okay, because he was looking kind of broken up. Turns out he and Jasson had a thing going. Apparently his wife was a political thing and his real love was Jasson. Bummer for him, but I think talking to Gimble helped. Also we were introduced to a new fighter who is I guess going to help us on our next errand. I don't think it is a good omen that we are going to need another fighter hired by the house to help on our next quest.

I wanted to thank Urijah for healing me down in the cogs so I went to talk to her after dinner. We got to talking and she told me about how she got to be a half-orc. Basically her dad is a bastard who goes around raping innocent women. So she was raised by her order and now is on a quest to find and kill him. It is a very admirable cause. Pretty much if we ever encounter him I'm advocating the absolute destruction of his being. On a less violent note she is generally pretty cool and I always admire those on the path of vengeance.

After that we finally got to sleep on nice beds and I could attempt to heal from the beating that I took. Hopefully we just won't have to deal with anything else really bizarre until everyone is done resting. On a separate note, I really need to get a better stabbing weapon. I love my dagger and everything but as shown by the tentacle fight, it is not doing enough damage. Basically if I am killing something I want it to be really fucking dead. A dagger just isn't doing enough to accomplish that. I'll see about getting someone to buy one for me tomorrow. After sleep.

But at least we have normal size beds now...

So today we embarked on a magical journey to the center of the earth. There we encountered wondrous animal creatures and fascinating scenery. Except by center of the earth I mean an angry smelly pit with Goblins in it. And wondrous creatures involve Orcs that may or may not be involved in questionable liaisons with many tentacled monsters. All in all, ew. But on the bright and shiny side I killed a sneaky motherfucker (bottlecap) and got to steal the most amazingly beautiful set of master thieves tools. Also it had a bow designed to kill elves which means clearly we had to stab the shit out of him, Kerowyn and Skeael wore a very close expression to mine upon finding said bow. I mean really what kind of horrible person targets an elf.

So mostly today was just a lot of fighting with some yelling in between. On the plus I shot someone in the neck and made it bleed like woah, on the minus I didn't tiptoe quiet enough down the corridor and got chased back to my party. But overall it was fairly good. Karkanna and Seven Oh Nine had to be healed but other then that the party made it through well. Also once again Twinkles was summoned to the battlefield and did nothing. I'm starting to think the gnome has mental issues. I heard him muttering something about summoning three of them afterward. Other then the fighting we found a bunch of cool stuff and most importantly, people sized beds. Nice ones. Belonging to people who... did god knows what with tentacles....... oh shit.

Still living underground. Not happy.

So I woke up today in some sort of blanket-coated stink pit. Not a good beginning to anyone's day really, but then I remembered where I was. Still in the cogs, getting ready to battle a pack of angry, and probably hungry, goblins trapped down a shaft. So we all hurried over to the hole and fix the pulley mechanism only to be informed by those who have dark vision that there is a bugbear at the bottom of the shaft. And he is pissed. Great. Fortunately he was stupid and Ru was able to lure him up to where we all were. Bad part of that plan was that he didn't die before he was able to alert the rest of the goblins to our presence. Did I mention that the monk kicked him down the shaft and then he didn't die. That sucked too. Though it was a good kick, he would have been good and screwed if it weren't for some damn meddler with a potion.

So we realized that trick probably wouldn't work again so we grabbed the rope and backed off for a bit. Ru offered to go get us some feather fall tokens so that we could go down the shaft easier and would be less likely to get maimed by hordes of goblins. We were all pretty much on board with that, so he went back up the elevator and was gone for most of the day. The rest of our "party" decided to check out a staircase that I had found behind a secret door. It lead to a spinny metally room. It was decidedly unpleasant so I tried to get out of it as soon as possible. There was another door and it lead to a room with a warforged in it who was clearly malfunctioning. It was unclear as to the meanings of some simple words and attacked us with an evil homonculus. Kind of gross really. The gnome proved himself more in battle today, though the continued use of the Celestial Badger (I think I heard him call it Twinkles) is kind of troubling. Also he shows bad judgement on survival. He was among the group that did not want to corrupt the machine's memory so that his friend "Merrick", who Ru tells us later is the uncle of that Cannith guy we saw killed, would not be able to find us, because the last thing we need is some more reasons to get us in jail.

We took the scrolls and wands and gems from the room and went back up the stairs. The artificer warforged seems exceedingly pleased with the magic items. I almost thought it was going to short circuit when it saw them. The wands that were identified were fox's cunning, levitation, and invisibility. I for one am glad we can be invisible. We showed the gems to Ru when he got back with the tokens and he said that they belong to house d'Cannith. Probably not good for us, but they are pretty shiny. Since we really didn't want to deal with the goblins right then, and I feel as though we had gotten enough loot for one day, we decided to rest for the remainder of the day and tackle the shaft another time. You know, tomorrow, after sleeping in the goblin beds, again. Hopefully then we will be done here and since the only action today was killing a cracked out warforged it will be good to have some nice old fashioned killing tomorrow.

Note: Significant amusement over Half-orcs enlarging abilities.

How I got sucked into the Hell dimension known as the Cogs

It all started with going to a bar. I soooo did not get drunk enough for what happened later on. No this is not the same thing as last week! Anyhow, I was in a lower level then where I usually drink on normal days and I went into that bar that Ru is currently using as a whorehouse and got some wine. Yeah it was all fine and normal until this dude started freaking out and stabbed himself while shouting some sort of Emerald Claw bullshit. Then his friend turned invisible, ripped the head off some other guy and disappeared into the shadows. I mean you gotta admire the guy's technique but damn, so everyone normal in there bolted. This, of course, brought the Watch down so I had to run upstairs. I mean there is no way I could let myself get caught in this dive, even though I didn't do anything.

I ran upstairs and rifled through personal property in search of something to get me out of there. Someone left a necklace, so I took it, I mean a girl has to have her priorities right? But other then that there was no way out so I went back in the hall. Some losers were yelling and another dude vanished into thin air. I don't know if you are keeping track at home, but that is two of them now. So I went into another room in an attempt to find something useful... but what I found was Ru, dressed as an eight year old girl I might add. Yeah it is weird but whatev. So we jumped out a window and went our respective ways.

The next day after I woke up to SOMEONE rudely tapping on my window, interrupting my beauty sleep (it was Ru, his bastard pimp sold us out and he needed to bust in), I headed back to the bar fully aware that my face was staring at me from a wanted poster every few feet. Ru explained most of the situation on the way there. It was a seriously not good situation. So I opened the door and we found the bartender dead lying next to a freezer. Serves him right. We took his money and his liquor. And then some drunk Dwarf chick busted in... I am not really sure why, but she followed us home. I guess she also was wanted by the Watch like Ru and I.

We all got a summons from the House d'Sivis and learned that if we wanted to get help from them in clearing our names, or really learning what the hell the Cannith people wanted from us, we would have to go collect some sort of debt from Goblins.... And that is why we are now here in the Cogs. Oh yeah, there were other people on this poster and we have to work with them. The elven cleric seems pretty cool, though the half-orc cleric does not seem to like Ru or I. The Gnome and his shiny friend do some sort of magic or something. The Warforged seems to regard money in the highest order, though she refuses to just take it, I don't really understand why. There is some sort of Monk made out of metal who used to work for one of the disappearing dudes and a paladin, who really is kind of bad ass for someone who is half human. I guess she knows the other chick who is on the poster with us but that woman isn't here.

I really hate the Cogs. I do not belong down here. And yet here we are. The hobgoblin douche bag who ran the joint fed us some line about only obeying the laws of d'Artagnan or something else goblin related. So we totally killed him. Bad point to that being then the other little goblins got pissy. They should have just paid up the money they owed I mean, really, one hobgoblin against nine people, that is ridiculous. Anyhow we managed to waste the entire group of goblins without anyone getting hurt. The Monk obliterated like two of them, I wasn't even sure Monks were allowed to do that. So we killed them all and didn't even get a scratch on us but I have to say the weirdest part was definitely the Badger. What the hell makes a badger Celestial anyway? Does it shit stars? I just don't understand Gnomes.

So we checked out all of their stuff and found a bunch of gold. This was the good part of it. We also found a shaft full of angry Goblins, this part, not so awesome. There was also a chick chained up to a wall, very suckish. But at least she wasn't dead, so she was doing better then the guy next to her. She and the rest of us have decided to sleep in the creepy goblin beds for the night and see about the shaft thing in the morning. Let it be known that if I catch any sort of goblin disease because you people wanted to stay here, I am going to hurt someone.

To Do List

1. For talking about my mother, stab Gnome while he is asleep. Make sure the shiny Warforged is powered down first because it seems to have attachments to him.

2. Find Ru, then drink that booze we jacked off of the fucking bartender who ratted us out. Attempt to scope out any sources that can raise him from the dead, so that I can kill him personally.

3. Kill Goblins in creepy underground shaft. Take their stuff.

3.5 Get a rope, what good are rope skills if you don't own one?

4. ....That is pretty much it, you can't do much when leaving the house can get you arrested.